Hookers and Golden Showers

News and Politics

I swear political scandals are like crack cocaine. To keep the public interested, every fresh dose has to be stronger and more exciting than the last – Otherwise, the masses will simply begin to lose interest and go back to whatever they were doing before, presumably jerking off to porn or scowling at the latest immigration statistics. After #PigGate, that is, when our former PM was alleged to have… well, fucked the head of a dead pig, it’s hard to imagine how anything else can be quite as preposterous.

So get a load out this: In the seemingly neverending stream of allegations concerning Donald Trump and Russian interference in the US election, a new report published by Buzzfeed claims that Trump hired prostitutes to urinate on the bed of the Presidential Suite in Moscow’s Ritz Carlton hotel. Fucking why? Well, apparently, it’s because that is the same room in which Barack and Michelle Obama stayed on their official visit to Moscow, and the “perverted sexual acts” were a way for Trump to reign in his personal hatred for the couple.  Furthermore, it is alleged that the whole extravaganza was recorded by Russian intelligence services, who are now using the recordings, as well as other unspecified material, to essentially blackmail the President-elect.

Now, even though that’s fucking hilarious, I’m gonna have to take it with a healthy dose of scepticism. First of all, Buzzfeed? Really? You’d think if someone had a compromising report that they wanted to be taken seriously then they would have leaked it to The Guardian or something. Anyway, aside from the fact that it comes from a site who’s entire business model is based on peddling bullshit, the report itself includes a disclaimer stating that its allegations are “unverified, and potentially unverifiable”. Also, the whole thing comes from an anonymous source, because of course it does.

Several things I’ve got to say:

  1. Even if the whole thing is true, which I’m almost certain it isn’t, would this even be that much of a stretch for Donald Trump? We’re talking about a man who has admitted to groping women and wants to murder the families of terrorists, so if those things didn’t kill his political career I’m not really sure that this will either.
  2. As tempting as it may be to view these and other allegations as cynical attacks by his political opponents, I do wish we’d take the whole possibility of the Kremlin having leverage over a US President a bit more seriously. Sure, it would be great to see some evidence that doesn’t come from an anonymous source associated with the Clinton campaign, but this is still early days.
  3. Can someone just take away his damn Twitter account already?

 

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2 thoughts on “Hookers and Golden Showers

    1. I doubt it. You’d think if he was going to give it up it would have happened by now. Also, his top staff include Steve Bannon, so don’t expect them to necessarily be the voice of reason either.

      Liked by 1 person

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